Scrambled thoughts: I quit.. or do I?

Ok now bear with me while I try to to explain my mixed up disjointed thinking and how it’s got me to where I am right now.

For the last 6 weeks since my failed attempt at a solo Challenge Wanaka I have severely struggled mentally.

• I have struggled to come to terms with the failure and massive struggle I had in what I thought was my strongest sport.
• I just can’t wrap my head around how this would even be feasible in the future never mind ‘possible’
• I am feeling more failure than I ever did as an able bodied athlete. Seems illogical? I think it’s because my situation is just so unique that I don’t fairly or equitably fit into any para category in a way that would make racing meaningful to me. So why even bother?

Yes. For the last 6 weeks I have come back time and time again to the conclusion that maybe I just can’t do these things any more and maybe I should just quit trying to achieve the impossible.

---

The science

I have no superficial femoral artery.

⚠️ The femoral artery is meant to have 3 branches.

1) The superficial femoral has a critical role in delivering oxygenated blood to the entire lower leg.

2) Deep femoral branch – responsible for providing oxygenated blood to the deep structures of the thigh

3) Lateral femoral branch – supplies the hip, femur, plus some thigh muscles and the skin

❗️In addition I also don’t have a popilteal artery. This artery provides blood supply to the structures of the knee and lower extremity.

This means that what remains of my left lower leg has minimal blood flow only provided by smaller collateral vessels.

As you can therefore imagine, when I do anything that uses my legs, the demand for oxygenated blood usually far outstrips my body’s ability to deliver it on the very limited arteries that I have left. This presents itself as claudication pain. I really have no way of properly describing what this feels like. The closest I can come is – imagine the worst ever muscle cramp, then times it by ten and keep increasing it.

You just can’t ’work through’ claudication pain. It stops you dead in your tracks and you simply have to wait for everything to catch up.

---

The rest of my disjointed thinking

• Maybe I just won’t ever be able to walk more than 1km. It’s almost 4 years and it hasn’t improved.
• But I follow someone on Insta with an SCI who learned how to walk 5 years later..
• I should just do something else
• I miss that finish line carpet and the multisport vibes
• How do I get better at cycling if cycling hurts?
• Has any research been done on vascular limitations and exercise?

---

So next I headed to google scholar.

My first search term led me to research on intermittent vascular limitations and performance gain. This was NOT what I meant! (This for example is why athletes train at altitude to improve performance)

So I adapted my search and landed on an article from the British Journal of Surgery titled ‘Exercise training and peripheral vascular disease’ . Now that isn’t what I have either but the first few lines of the conclusion got my attention:

The poor physical status of a patient with intermittent claudication is not solely due to a reduction in blood flow to the lower limbs; 

BJS volume 87, issue 5, 553-562

From reading this it seems that improving cardiovascular fitness would in turn improve (I.e reduce) oxygen demand on the muscles. It also states that improving blood flow to the extremity is extremely uncommon.

So perhaps my surgeon wondering if exercise can continually improve collateral flow is answered right there. That seems to be a nope.

So clearly I need to look at this problem quite differently.

How do you improve cardiovascular fitness?

This is the next basic question that needs answering, before we even talk about swimming or cycling.

The answer is simple. Any exercise that increases the amount of oxygen you breathe in.

So, I really do need to start thinking waaaaaay outside the box. Maybe I even need to go back to some of that stuff I used to do as an age group triathlete, the stuff I hated…

Start back at the VERY beginning.

• Weights
• Boxing
• Strength and conditioning
• Balance
• Core
• Swimming (anaerobic)
• Rowing (machine.. arms only)
• Wheelchair racing / training

I haven’t tried this approach. The approach I was trying wasn’t working. There just isn’t anyone else that has my same set of problems, so there’s no one to ask either.

So, all I can do is try something new and see where it gets me.

Watch this space.