Let’s talk tricky stuff… relationships & autism.
⭐️ Autistic people don’t just date other autistic people.. quite often the opposite
⭐️ Think carefully about where those dates might take place. Dimly lit places, crowded noisy places, all or both at the same time even.. is a typical date setting but is the perfect description of my worst nightmare. With heightened visual and auditory senses locations are vital for me.
⭐️ Touch. This is a very common problem. Neuroptypicals probably get this wrong the most frequently. Airy fairy – is often a no no. firm but consistent pressure is often a common preference.. Gentle and romantic can often be the opposite feeling for someone with ASD. It’s quite common for people with ASD to have real issues with physical intimacy (or even absolutely detest it). Some with ASD might even see kissing simply as ‘smashing faces together’. Just because we feel and express things differently doesn’t make us callous or unromantic. Far from it. We often feel the romantic feelings stronger and more intensely than neurotypicals.
⭐️ brutal honesty- is what you will always get. I am often described as blunt.. but I also have numerous friends who love that feature about me because I simply cannot do all the airy fairy polite bullsh*t!
⭐️ sensitivities of everything is dialled up to the max. So what might seem insignificant to you is probably the exact opposite for us.
⭐️ we often need extra processing time to sort out and respond to big decisions. This looks different for each of us. For me the act of writing it down gets it out of my head and Knott paper then I can order it, put it into words and then express it. Lengthy I know.. that’s why we need more time than most. Expecting more than this causes me great anxiety.
⭐️ take control of initiating affection. Social interaction is clunky for us and hard work. So do it for us and make things easier!
Please note: failing to understand this and refusing to learn about it will only end one way.. off you trot sunshine!
Melanie Magowan 