Day 19: Full lock-down continues

It surely is a worrying time for everyone all around the globe. This increasingly feels like a war, but there is an enemy that is invisible to the eye. And its stealthy, unforgiving and its hiding around the corner from each and every one of us.

New Zealand has been modelling itself on Singapore and South Korea, however these countries are now reporting increasing numbers again, raising fears of a second wave.

We have always wondered if China is reporting accurate numbers, however the fears that South Korea and Singapore, who had also both reported a significant drop in numbers and control of the spread, are reporting a new second wave of infections means that New Zealand has to watch carefully as they prepare to decide what happens at the end of our current reported lock down next week.

Stages of lock down acceptance

#1 Shock

At first, it took me and this autistic brain significant time and effort to come to terms with what was to become the new norm. Being suddenly forced to close the doors on a business that I have worked significantly hard to build from the dust upwards was incredibly stressful. Cancelling many many customer appointments and re-training the remaining to an online platform delivery was significantly stressful enough to make be doubt if surviving all of this was even possible. I felt like my last 5 years of hard work and sacrifice to get to where I am now was all taken from me in an instant. Not only that, but the removal of freedoms, being unable to just go to the beach if I want to go for a walk in the bush if I want to, even go for a bike ride wherever I want – was all removed in an instant. I had less than 24 hours to adjust to this.

#2 Panic and planning

So what now? How will we pay the bills? How will my business survive? Will I even have a job at the end of all this? The panic was real, it was deep seated and born from the sudden nature of the massive changes in how we are allowed to live our lives. Behind all this came a frantic planning phase, trying to work through how all this could work in the short term.

#3 Acceptance

I have struggled to separate the feelings from the actual. I have accepted the current situation for what it is, but I do not like it. But I know it has to be done. But I do not like it at all.

I do have a snitch of normality because although I do not have anywhere near as much admin and business stuff to do as I would when we the studio and massage clinic are open, I do still have a few personal training clients that I had not yet passed on to other staff. So most mornings I do have a reason to get up, which I think is helping to shape my week somewhat and keep me grounded.

How my other staff are getting on

This was part of my daily snippets that I called the sanity diaries. It was, however, interesting to see how three very different staff members tackled the lock down.

Kimberley – personal trainer

Gemma – massage therapist

Trina – massage therapist

If you would like to follow them all (posted daily, but I have taken a wee break from them over the Easter weekend) then here they all are. They can also be found on Facebook too, if you prefer that platform.

So, I am in the acceptance phase and life rolls on. I watch the daily press conferences in the hope that they will signal some end to all of this, not yet. We have been told there will be another update from the minister of business this Wednesday about business support updates (which I am keep to hear about, I hope it includes help with rent payments). We have also been told there will be more details on what Level 3 lock-down looks like and a decision will be made on whether to keep or lift our full lock down next week.

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And in other news

Our weather turned to rat-shit this weekend (scuse the French, but it makes lock down way harder when you are entering winter, in my humble opinion). But, before that happened we managed a few more trips around the block, this time Mark took the Go-Pro so here is a runner’s view of things.

Since I have nothing much else to do, I have taken to the bike to try and maintain my fitness at least in part. It has been 25 days (almost 2 months) since I was last able to go swimming, so the leg has taken a punishing.

Nerve issues brief background

If you are not aware, I have nerve damage in my lower back which was being investigated before all this covid-19 thing. My next appt was meant to be with a spinal surgeon about surgery options. Of course, this has now all been cancelled in the wake of Covid-19. I am on hefty doses of nerve pain meds and am now at home managing the issue. I have no other choice. It had totally prevented me from cycling (and even walking) when it first kicked of just before Christmas last year. I have manages (slowly) to get back to cycling, but I have to be very careful and it occasionally (like now) kicks back.

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I am unable to tolerate the riding position of my time trial bike (the one pictured on the trainer) because of how bent over I have to be. So I have not been able to ride it out on the road for a long time now. (It was last year the last time I did). So every time I am able to ride, no matter how short, I am grateful. Right now though, I am resting again, because the leg has started to disagree with everything again. The signs for me are:

• foot goes increasingly numb
• circulation starts to be affected, red and cold foot
• Severe muscle pain
• nerve pains increase beyond what the drugs are controlling, start in foot and work up, or sometimes in the back and works down

All I can do is rest it. Rest I found bloody hard when I am also house bound. It is kinda like well what else is there to do! Perhaps that is how I managed to overdo it, who knows. It is what it is and for now there is absolutely nothing I can do to make anything any better.

The Garden is looking great! hubby has worked like a trojan these last few weeks. He wasn’t quite done before the hail, rain and snow came this morning, but he has got the back finished at least.

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After all the sunshine we have been lucky to have over the last three weeks, here is what we have now.

So there we have it. Still in full lock down in New Zealand and we are still not totally sure how much longer this may go on for. Work does still go on for me in part. I feel like Ryding2Health as we know it might have a completely different complexion after all this. I need to start thinking WAAAAAAAAY outside the box going forwards from here.

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One thing I do know is this. The world we will re-emerge into will be a very different one to the one we knew just a couple of months ago.

Melanie Ryding