What relationships have a positive impact on you?
The person I am immediately thinking of is my husband, but the reasons are not the obvious ones.
Aside from the fact that I really and truly feel like I have, second time around, met my true soul mate, it was one small comment he made a few days ago that has really flipped things on their head with regards to how I see my future.
Exercise History
Way back since day 0 I always exercised for a reason.
- lose weight
- To complete a triathlon – inspired by a book I read
- To get on team GB
- To stay on team GB
Then a knee injury and subsequent knee replacement put an end to that. I waited 5 years for that operation, getting more and more crippled as I waited. that completely detached me from any exercise or even a reason to exercise.
When I was eventually recovered enough from that knee op, my goal was to return to triathlon. No sooner was I at the point where I could ride a bike again, than the left foot issues started. 10 painful months (and 8 operations) later, off came the foot and here we are.
The flaws:
I was looking back at what was, rather than looking forward at what is or what could be.
I had an ableist approach, trying to strengthen my weaknesses like any good athlete would, rather than working to my strengths, which is what a PARA-athlete has to do.
So here I am, 15 years after I first picked up those running shoes, asking myself, why do I exercise?
What is my why?
I have been trying to figure this out since my knee replacement, then subsequent amputation on the other side. I could not see a place for me to fit into at all. I have been lost for the last 4.5 years.
When Peter and I talked about this, how upset I am that I have failed at completing a triathlon (or even an aqua bike) so what was the point of any of the exercises any more, he said one simple thing that has changed my entire outlook.
Why don’t you just do swim events and do the rest for personal enjoyment and health / general fitness reasons?
This seems such a simple and basic thing to say. I have been told numerous times to go swimming because it’s easy, not stop swimming because it is hard.
As you can see from my history, Exercise was never done for personal enjoyment, it was a way to facilitate another bigger goal.
But, when I ask myself why I still do it, why do I go to parkrun every week, why do I cycle on Zwift, why do I still try to run on my treadmill despite all the numerous failures so far?
I exercise because I enjoy it, because it gives me pleasure.
I am not sure when that changed But thank you Peter, for helping me to recognise this now.
I will swim, when I want to, because I want to.
I will ride when the feeling takes me. I will stay on there as long or as short as I want to. Not because I feel like I have to.
And running….. well I am not ready to give up yet.
Thank you Peter, for understanding me well enough to help me mentally get to this place. I have been searching for it for 4.5 years. Now i have found it.
